Routines
by Aub
Summary: A new living situation forces Riza to make some tough choices. But can Roy live with them? Episode 37style spoofs. Royai.


OK! Thanks so much for the encouragement with my last fic (you know who you guys are!). And special thanks to Dailenna for her particular advice. She helped me get this up. The responses made me think some people might enjoy it. It was also written a while ago but I find it pretty humorous. Complete fabrication on my part but fun none the less. Just humor me )

Another note- I'm not sure of the weather at Eastern Headquarters but I'm claiming artistic license and going with desert hot. I live in Las Vegas, NV and for those who've never been in a hot climate before let me tell you - on the hottest summer days the temperature doesn't fall below 100 degrees, even in the middle of the night. I'm serious. So that's the catalyst I'm picturing for Riza's dilemma.

Enjoy!

Final Note (Sorry) – I am not legitimately associated with anything Fullmetal Alchemist. Whatever.

**ROUTINES**

"Lt.Hawkeye."

Silence

"Lt. Hawkeye?"

"Yes sir!"

"Are you alright?"

"Of course sir. I'm sorry. I was just distracted by this document."

Colonel Roy Mustang stared for a moment at his 1st Lieutenant, not sure if he really believed her.

Lt. Riza Hawkeye gazed back at him sternly; quick to cover her brief relapse. "Is there something you need, sir?" she spoke smoothly.

The Colonel waited a moment before responding. "I just wanted to double check the time of my meeting tomorrow morning."

"1100 sir."

"Alright, thank you Lt."

"Yes sir." Lt. Hawkeye immediately turned back to the papers on her desk. Her Colonel frowned a bit and then, shaking his head, looked back to his own work.

Though calm and serene on the outside Hawkeye was internally mortified. That was the second time in one day that her superior officer had needed to repeat himself. For one of the other officers that may have been ordinary but for 1st Lt. Riza Hawkeye it was literally unheard of. That didn't happen to her twice in a year, let alone a single day! She forced herself not to frown and continued her work. She knew exactly what her problem was; she just didn't know how to fix it.

Although her current rank kept her more behind a desk than at the frontlines, Lt. Hawkeye was meticulous about her abilities as a military officer. That meant being in tip-top shape physically as well as mentally. Besides shooting practice Hawkeye had always kept to a strict workout regime in order to stay in shape and part of that routine was running 2 miles every morning before work. Now this in and of itself was not a problem. At least it hadn't been while she was stationed in Central. The problem started when she got moved to Eastern Headquarters.

In Central Hawkeye would be out of her apartment by 0600, do her morning run and then be at headquarters by 0700. There she would shower, change and be at her desk by 0730. In Eastern, however, there were two major differences. One, the locker room provided at Eastern did not include a full shower area. This might have been something she could work around if it wasn't for problem two. In Eastern it was hot. Really hot. Even at 0600 in the morning it was hot. Because of this Riza found that she had to run and then go home to shower and then come all the way back to headquarters. To do that she had to get up an entire hour earlier, which after a few weeks was starting to take its toll. '_Maybe if I could get out of here at a decent time_,' she grumbled silently to herself as she glanced accusingly at the Colonel. But she knew that wasn't going to happen any time soon. '_Either way I have to do something about this tonight_,' she vowed.

By the time Riza got out of the office and home that evening it was almost 2100. After taking Black Hayate for a quick walk and making something to eat it was 2200. And she still had to do the at-home portion of her workout which took almost half an hour. She sighed as she walked into her room to change and think about what she was going to do.

She glanced over at Hayate who was already making himself comfy at the foot of her bed.

"You know there is one adjustment I could make which would help things dramatically," she said over her shoulder as she dug through her dresser. "I can just wear my home workout clothes when I run instead of my usual sweat suit. A sweat suit in this weather makes a full shower mandatory."

She stood up straight and turned toward her puppy with the clothes in her hands. A deep red spandex tank top which ended above her waist and a pair of black spandex shorts. Hayate stared back at her like she had lost her mind. She sighed and slumped into a chair. "I know, I can't wear this out. I pass half the guys from the office when I'm jogging."

She closed her eyes and put her hand on her head. Specifically she passed by the Colonel every morning while jogging. He always seemed to be heading out just as she was passing his house. She didn't even want to think of his reaction if she came bounding by wearing the little outfit currently in her hands. There is no way he would pass up the chance to harass her and she couldn't live with the embarrassment. _'But I've got to do something! If I keep falling behind on my sleep like this I'm going to eventually make a big mistake. And considering the importance of who I assist (and protect) there is no room for big mistakes.'_

Riza began to rub her temples in an attempt to ward off the headache she felt coming on. Suddenly Hayate yipped at her and she opened her eyes. He looked at her with his head cocked to the side and she smiled. "You know sometimes I think you understand me. Like now, you seem as though you have an idea to help fix m………" Suddenly Riza stood up. "That's it!" she exclaimed decidedly. "I can take the old Wisle Farm road up to headquarters. It takes a direct route _behind_ all the barracks right to back of the main building. And since the farm has been closed for a few years now no one will be on it."

Riza began to pace in front of her bed while she thought out loud. "I can take the alley behind my building to the road and follow it all the way up to the mess hall delivery entrance. They don't start taking deliveries until 0800 so I should be able to slip in, take the emergency stairs up to my locker and get changed as usual. And because this outfit is so much cooler than my usual running clothes the locker room sinks should be adequate to freshen up." Riza laughed and gave her puppy a smart salute in appreciation. "You know, there is something seriously wrong with me if I have to brainstorm with a dog to figure out my problems." He barked happily in response as she patted him on the head.

1 WEEK LATER

Riza Hawkeye sat at her desk in Headquarters wide awake and as alert as ever. The Colonel, however, was completely distracted.

For almost a full week he had waited by his living room window for Lt. Hawkeye to turn onto his street during her morning run and she had not shown. This was extremely out of character for Hawkeye. Even on the weekends she made her morning loop by his house. Not only was it odd but it threw his entire routine off and _that_ was just down-right irritating!

"Colonel, those papers aren't going to fill themselves out."

Mustang glared at Hawkeye's down turned head like a petulant child before putting his pen to paper. '_Fine, I'll just have to do some investigating_,' he thought to himself.

The next day Riza awoke refreshed and smiled at the feeling. After only a week the extra sleep was doing wonders. She happily took a shower and slipped into her "new" running clothes. After guiding Hayate through his morning drills she opened her front door, glanced around to make sure she was the only one up and made her way to the back entrance of the building.

(Meanwhile)

Colonel Roy Mustang took another drink of his coffee and tried not to think about the warm bed he had left way too early that morning. He glanced at this watch. '_Almost 0600 on_ _the dot._' Suddenly he heard a door creak open and softly close. He turned from his hiding place in the bushes across the street and stared eagerly at the doors to his subordinate's building. Nothing. Strange. He stared another minute before he saw a blonde head sprint by the back of the apartments. Curious he jogged down the street and peered in between the buildings. Sure enough he saw the head of his 1st Lt. over some garbage cans, smiling as she jogged down the alley. '_Why in the world would she run_ _BEHIND all the buildings; and in the wrong direction?'_ he wondered to himself.

Now on a quest the Colonel decided to get ahead of her and see where she went. Sprinting down the street (not an easy feat for our sedentary Colonel) he took a sharp turn between the buildings and positioned himself at the back corner by the alley. He heard her jogging footsteps get closer. He pushed himself as close to the wall as he could and waited patiently for her to pass by. One minute. Two minutes. Three……

"What the hell," he muttered to himself before he realized the footsteps sounded farther away. He peeked around the corner and saw the alley way empty.

'_Wha-does she know I'm following her or something!?_' He stormed into the alley and saw an opening in the wall. Beyond it was a hill over which he saw a dirt road.

'_She's taking the old farm road to headquarters? Why the sudden change of routine?'_

The Colonel growled in frustration. Now he was just pissed and wanted to know what she was doing. He knew the road led to Headquarters but it was winding and went to the back of the main building. She would have to go through a service entrance to get in.

"Fine," he said out loud to himself. "I'll just cut straight through the compound and meet her by the mess hall. The least she can do for getting me out of bed so early is explain herself." With a muttered curse he took off across the road and made his way toward Headquarters.

Sometime later Mustang propped himself against some boxes just inside the mess hall storage room. He was out of breath and seeing spots from his run. He glanced at his watch. There was no way Lt. Hawkeye could have gotten here faster on the old farm road. All he had to do was wait and then he could give her hell. For what reason he wasn't sure but he figured he'd come up with something when the time came.

Barely a minute later he heard footsteps on the outside stairs. He placed a fierce glare on his face and started to move away from the boxes when the service door opened. He opened his mouth fully prepared to bellow when she suddenly appeared in the doorway - and he promptly forgot his own name.

There, with the golden rays of the morning sun bowing in reverence behind her, stood Riza Hawkeye. In spandex.

Roy Mustang almost whimpered.

Her hair was pulled into a ponytail, exposing the length she kept hidden in a clip while at the office. Her skin glowed with the damp energy of her jog and her chest heaved slightly from the exertion. Her long legs were completely exposed to his view and he realized there were some things even better than miniskirts.

After only a few seconds, Lt. Hawkeye turned left and headed up the emergency stairs totally unaware of the pandemonium she left behind her. Roy Mustang continued to stand frozen for many minutes before finally slumping down against the wall. He gazed ahead blankly and tried to reconcile what he had just seen. No wonder the Lt. was taking back roads to work! If he had actually caught her **RUNNING** in that outfit, her body moving with the rhythm of her strides, her breath heavy and…….

He ran his hand down his face. Dear god, he would have had to call in sick!

She would probably put half the military out of commission.

With a sigh he stood up and realized he was going to have to pull himself together. On shaky legs he left the storage room and headed through the mess hall to the main stairs. He knew Riza's new routine would have to be kept strictly confidential. If not, the workings of the entire headquarters would be in jeopardy! After convincing himself he was only thinking of others the Colonel began marching resolutely up the stairs. He would carry the burden by himself. After all, what proper superior would throw the weight of something like this on his loyal men? Now smirking, Roy Mustang entered his office and prepared for a fun day of trying NOT to stare openly at his 1st Lieutenant.

2 WEEKS LATER

"All finished Lieutenant."

Riza looked up from her last paper and stared at Colonel Mustang with disbelief on her face.

"I must say sir, your performance at work lately has been... well... almost diligent. We've gotten out of here on time every day for almost two weeks now."

Roy smirked at her as he grabbed their coats from the rack. After handing one to Hawkeye he slipped into his own and opened the office door.

"Well Lieutenant I have recently come to appreciate the benefits of a good nights sleep."

"Oh?" Riza responded in a confused tone.

"Yes. You see if I don't get enough rest I have a hard time keeping to my morning routine. And I just can't function if I don't keep strictly to my routines."

Riza tried to keep the surprise from her voice. "Well I must say that's good to hear." She smiled lightly to herself as he locked up the office. "Permission to speak freely sir?"

"Of course."

"I would like to think my encouragement over the years has had something to do with this pleasant change."

Roy couldn't quite contain his cat-like grin as he headed down the hallway.

"You have no idea Lieutenant."

* * *

End

Whoo-Hoo! Royai fic number two! I hope this strikes your funny bones people. I laughed. Thanks for reading and I hope to be back soon.


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